A member of MPwH writes, reposted with permission:

Any advice on how to have a relationship with this form of HPV?

Hi Guys and Gals,

Newbie here, 3 weeks old from finding out that I may or may not have HPV. Ex-girlfriend (her idea) said that a pap smear last month showed she had a high-risk strain of HPV associated with cervical cancer (for the record, not from me).

Seems that the virus does not affect men, does not even show up in men, but makes them a carrier. In other words, if I have intercourse with a woman, with or without a condom, I give her a virus that may lead to cervical cancer.

Am I destined for the category of “latex lover” or are there some women around with the same form (My ex has not found out the exact strain, yet)?

Thanks in advance for any input

A member of MPwH writes, reposted with permission:

There is no test for this type of HPV in men. …It is true that condoms won't protect your partner from warts in general but when it comes to this type of HPV and protecting your partner a condom will help. This virus is on the penis or on the cervix or inside the vagina on a woman, a condom can protect your partner as well as you from being re-infected. What needs protecting is your partners cervix and your penis. While the penis is in the vagina… the cervix is further inside. The head of the penis gets closest to the cervix and this is why they say condoms work.

Medical experts cannot say for sure if you will always be contagious to a new partner at some point a woman will no longer test positive for the virus even by the most sensitive HPV test (Hybrid Capture 2)

Transmitting an HPV infection requires a lot of the virus to be present and when a woman tests negative for HPV there has to be very little or no virus.

HPV is so common that most people at one time or another have been  exposed to it. so stock up on condoms

Paula Petals

Hi all,
I am new to all this. I have a question. I was recently intimate with someone and before hand we discussed past sexual history etc. I used protection but the next day, I don't know if it was out of guilt but the person informed me that she has herpes. This is the first person I have
been with since my divorce and now this! I have read that condoms do not protect against herpes and was under the mistaken idea that you couldn't get it unless the person was having an outbreak. My question is, this happened Saturday night, how long will it be before i know
whether or not I might have herpes. This is totally devastating to me as I am sure you all know. How long will I have to "sweat it out" so to speak before I know! Thank you and thanks for this website.

A member of Herpes in Ohio writes:

It was probably out of guilt.  Any respectful person will tell you that being honest about herpes is a MUST.  But I have had protected sex after finding out my condition and that person didn't have it.  I also had to find out who gave it to me so i had 2 guys that i had been with in the past two years to go get tested and they were fine

A member of Herpes in Ohio write:

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I've always told my partner I have herpes before sex, but I know others who haven't… while they've used protection; they skipped telling their partner, for fear of rejection and fear of `everyone finding out'. That's the reasons or maybe just poor excuses (depends on how you look at it)  

On the up side and speaking just for myself…getting herpes 17 years ago (for me) has been a good thing. I realized it could have been much worse. I've learned a lot in these 17 years.  First I learned a lesson I'll never forget and second I've become a much stronger and wiser person because of it. (not so wise all the time but I'm better than I was)  Third I've made many life long friends that share this virus to. Last but not least I learned that making love is much better with someone who truly loves you, who wouldn't lie to you for selfish reasons. (I still believe...in love)

There is a bit of good news for you my friend….you may dodge this bullet (this time) 14 days will pass and maybe after a few months without an outbreak you'll go to your local health dept and get a blood test $35 (just to be sure) along with a full STD screen and learn that you are just fine. I hope this is the way things turn out for you. Fingers crossed.

Keep this advice in mind next time you…find yourself talking about sexual history with a partner. Sex can be fun but risky, and while you may wear a condom and take every possible precaution… it is always better to get to really know your partner and to be as sure as you can be, that they are worth the risks…herpes isn't the only one. You...Love and loving is what is really important.

Paula Petals

I've had herpes for 17 years and HPV( the kind that can lead to cervical cancer) since 1998. Back then, my pap showed abnormal cells, I was so worried... but they went away and have not come back. WooHoo!

But because the word cancer was used,  I keep getting checked. Now its 2006 and still no abnormal cell changes..... So should I just take it off my MPwH ad?  Would you talk about the herpes and then tell your partner about the HPV,  if you were me?  Two std's ? no wonder I can't get a date!

Think for a minute...am I the only one? or am I the only one you know about???? hmmm. Come on guys how would you know if I didn't tell you?

At our last help meeting our nurse said something that shocked the h*#@ out of me. She said if you get into an elevator with 8 people one other person will have herpes and 6 will have HPV. Now is that true? When I read the post in this group, I get the feeling that the biggest thing
out there is herpes. I read post about taking medication and not wanting to give herpes to any one.... or not telling your partner or  your hope of finding someone who will understand and except the risks involved with loving a person with Herpes. So much good advice.

Still I worry we may be missing the bigger picture here. Herpes is small stuff and not the only STD out there. HPV is pretty wide spread... and you don't even talk about it. You're careful to tell your partner  about herpes and we all agree that's the right thing to do. But what about
you? Are we more interested in protecting our partner than we are into protecting ourselves? Be careful you don't lose sight of who's most important in your life.

Did you know that for a man there is no test for the type of HPV that (if left untreated for more than 3-5 years) may cause cancer of the cervix for his partner? and if warts aren't visible then how will anyone know they have genital warts? How can you tell if someone has genital
warts? Do you look? do you ask?

But hey that's just the number two STD in the USA do you know what the number 1 std is?  That's a little thing called TRICHOMONIASIS about 5 million will be introduced to that one this year. Then there is Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis before we even get to herpes after herpes
there's Hepatitis B and BV and last but not least HIV.

So when you next sit down to have that talk and you're nervous and worried about the other person running out on you....Remember this....you've been hurt before.

words from Stephanie Mills power of love

"I was a victim of my foolish thinking
Carelessly I've risked my love and my life
There's no self-pity, I admit I obliged
Overpowered by love I pretended to be blind ....


learn... to respect The power of love"