HOME

4 Petal Principals

Men and Women can be FRIENDS

Sex does not have to enter into a relationship early on. Wait until you know the person and they you. Think about it like this. Your next relationship could be based on trust, commitment and faith in each other before sex. A somewhat old fashion belief but one I feel will work better, than beginning yet another relationship based on looks, chemistry and great sex. Men and women can be friends however, once sex enters into the relationship feelings change.

The friendship may fall apart if only one of the parties involved fancies themselves in love. 

However, it is not unheard of that both will want to take the relationship to another level, sadly that is not always the case. PP

 

Don’t let Herpes/HPV change who you are

Many of us remember the pain of our first out break, the humiliation and all the unanswered questions after the diagnosis. Most of us still live daily with the fear of family or friends finding out. Above all this we remember the hurt of losing out on what we thought was to be a loving relationship that for some of us ended badly. 

Without noticing some of us have started building a wall around ourselves. The wall consists of 6-inch thick cement blocks made of pain and humiliation and held together by fear. The day after we were diagnosed we began living behind the wall. When someone tries to get to close to us we build the wall higher. Keeping out any and all who could hurt us again. 

What I’m trying to say maybe better explained like this.... A handsome unattached young man, his friends and relatives want to introduce him to a beautiful young woman. He asks them to not set him up on any more blind dates. 

To his friends he says I hate blind dates. To his family he says I don’t have time to go out! I’m too busy with my job. (Many in the H community are work alcoholics) It started when he’s 29 and soon he’ was 35 and now 41… he’s wasted so much of his life avoiding life and relationships. 

 Love is for those who believe in it! Don’t spend any more time behind the wall… put the pain and fear behind you. 

PP

 

Don’t rush into SEX

Regardless of whether they have herpes, HPV or no STD (that they know about at this particular time) Tell them up front that sex with you will have to wait. How long, should be decided by the both of you.

Trust, a degree of commitment and mutual respect should be present before telling them you have herpes and or HPV.

One very good reason for waiting to tell your partner is this; they may never reach a point in the relationship where you feel you can really trust them. If that turns out to be the case do you really want them to know you have herpes or HPV?

Still many of us worry that after weeks of dating and getting to know someone you really like, we risk losing them once we tell them we have herpes/HPV. That maybe the way to bet, but it’s not always the end result. There is a very real possibility they will respect your honesty and ask you  questions instead of walking out of your life.

Keep in mind it’s hard on all single people out there looking for a loving relationship not just you. Rich or poor, beautiful or not so beautiful, fat or skinny, those raising children alone or those who can’t have children, those with cancer, diabetes or an artificial leg… and then there’s you with herpes/hpv.

Looking for a loving relationship is universal. Those that can be trusted do very well.

PP

 

Don't play games 

She reaches for his hand and he crosses his arms…he leans close for a kiss and she turns away.

Things are not always what they seem to be. A man and a woman can go out to dinner, sit across from each other and from a distance look like a couple out on a date.  But because they have spoken about what they really want out of a relationship they may as well be dinning alone. 

None of us can read minds. Tell the person you date what you are looking for. 

I really like you but would like to take it slow and get to know you better, even if this only turns out to be friendship I would really enjoy having you in my life. 

Be careful not to make sex the relationships only goal. Instead look to build a strong foundation in which a loving relationship can grow.

PP

 

 

Letters from my Friends 


                                                     

 

Friends and Lovers

Valentines Dance 2001

Masque 2000

What  kind of Lover are You? 2000

Brandywine 2000

A Letter 2/2000

Valentines 2000

Spread Knowledge not Herpes 2000

Say something nice 2000

Letter from an Interested observer 1999

A Letter 1999

Ohio Friends 1st event (Cleveland) 1999

1st Newsletter (Cleveland) 1999